Can't We All Just Get Along (And All That Crap)

"Two guys walk into a bar; a Jew and a Muslim. The Muslim man turned to the Jewish man and said, "Sorry Rabi, this may seem fairly irregular". The Rabi answered, "My fellow man, that is nonsense, I am taught to be open to all men". So the Muslim man thanked the Rabi and continued, "I have to confess; today I helped a man strap a home-made bomb to himself, and then I watched him walk into the town square and kill 25 people. I know that Allah promises 70 Virgins when we die, but I could not but feel that this was wrong." The Rabi gave the man a puzzled look, and then replied, "Oh, forgot the bombing my son, tell me about those virgins". Okay, this is the part where you laugh.....well at least quietly to yourself. Hey, don't look at me, it is not my joke! And personally; 70 virgins, though it may sound exotic, the last thing I want to do after spending many painful years on earth, is to emulate that experience by going through the aches and pains of virgin sex.....70 TIMES! Wouldn't you rather have 70 experienced women...hhmmm?

Okay, so that's not the point; and the joke borders on PC insensitivity.....blah, blah, blah.....and all that crap. But, I would have faced less animosity telling this pun, then I received from playing a casual game of pool during the 2008 election. So, "Two guys walk into a bar.....no, it was actually 5 people (men and women); alright forget the joke. I can't recall the actual date, but one evening back in October 2008, a group of friends decided to play some pool. Now, you are not going to find your typical pool halls in NYC, but many bars have one or two tables in the back; so after a few hours you can see how personal it can become. It is your typical bar scene; doting "24 year old" drunken girls looking for their soul mates, obnoxious "Wall-Streeters" blabbing how they were the first to forecast the "Mortgage Crisis", and an odd assortment of so-called "Bar-beaters", which are a combination of 40 year-old divorcees', hicks (no idea where they bus in from), and 80's throw-backs of all diverse backgrounds. Do not ask me how they are grouped together, but they usually congregate in the frontal lobe of the bar, closet to the door to grab a "butt" every 15 minutes (it is like clockwork). As for me, I can hang out with anyone and enjoy the night, especially with a game a pool, where the only discriminating factor is "Do not come to the table without quarters". And unlike other areas of the bar where like-minded souls congregate in their own areas, the pool table is the one forum that becomes an informal United Nations; usually inviting to all. The one place in the bar where regardless of your background, affiliation, or views, it didn't matter; plus after a few triple-shots you were more concerned about ripping the table versus why some guy at the next table was still wearing "Dock-Siders" and a "I Love Wham" T-shirt (one of those 80's throwbacks - I was talking about).

So, here we were, having a relaxed time; and as the bar was winding down in the late hours, a small group people become the main staples in the pool area. About 10 people that were rotating between pool, drinking, and social bonding. For about two hours it was complete serenity; just laughter, drinks, and ball-breaking (even the girls, I mean women). Until one "girl" had to go and and break the monotony of the "Friendly Banter", which had been golden to this point. She was a combination of 24 year-old innocence, mixed with tree-hugging optimism. And you could tell she was waiting all night to invoke a conversation. I am sure after reading the latest trendy "Fashion" publication , that she wanted to share the dictatorial injustices of South Africa, discuss the exploitation of children in internationally slavery rings, or the the waste in government spending that could help educational funding (by the way that was joke too). Nope, instead of engaging in a real discussion or looking for an opinion on a current event, she stated, "So, you are voting for Obama aren't you? She had to do it; and of course she did. It was as if someone knocked over a few vases in a china shop: not deafening silence, just the sound of everyone shrieking. All I could think was; "I have a combination shot off the third rail, corner pocket". But, given her apparent attempt to disparage my selection, or an attempt to convert me, I figured I would entertain her (if not for just humor - why not?). I did owe the group that much, if not society; plus seeing the glow of mindless enthusiasm on her face I could not let her down. And with that I came back with a rhetorical question, "Does it matter?". You would have thought I just told her she had 5 months to live. The look on her face was priceless, and incoherent babble that took place afterwords, was either in "Tongues", or the girl was fluent in 8 different languages. Either way I chuckled; I am not an old guy, but once you past a certain age you realize, do I even have that type of energy to make heads spin and vomit (other than too many triple-shots). After she went through her heart-felt diatribe, which lasted through 5 complete pool shots (I was on a little bit of a roll), I looked up and said, "How articulate; you can now turn off the recorded monologue you have secretly tucked into your bra". Oh wait, I assume she was not wearing one; you know, with all the "oppression" synergies associated with a man-made "supportive apparatus" (go figure). So, she quipped back, "The fact that you did not answer means you are voting for McCain!". So, I quipped back as well, and said, "The fact that you are so angry, you must be voting for Obama." Now I did not need any other evidence of this; you remember I just listened to a 5 minute testimony on the subject, which felt like 50 hours. "That is right", she exclaimed, "How could you vote for McCain?". Now, I did not want to get into an argument for which she was ill-prepared to discuss, nor did I want to get into the fact that she "was like 1" when the cold war was occurring, or a teenager when 9-11 occurred, but I felt no matter how hard I tried to just continue playing pool, that was not going to happen. I could see "her" friends rolling their eyes, and "my" friends saying to themselves, "damn girl, we are just trying to play pool here". So, I smirked and said, "I just scratched, it's your turn". And after a brief paused she yelped, "So you're one of those people; Republicans!". Now I could not tell if I was annoyed or confused. "One of those pople; Republicans", I never said that; what brainwashing commune did this girl arrive from? Was she saying that you must vote for a candidate because of party loyalty? I know that N.Y. is predominately a "Blue State", but it's not 90-10; so she assumed I was one of "Those People". And "Those People"; is that not the same as Ross Perot's, "You People". I'm sorry, I forgot that falls into the "It's Okay For Me to Say It, But Not For You" category. So, I fired back, "I never told you what party I support, and despite despising the the entire political process, in this case, my voting decision was based on anything but a party association". Just then, she threw her pool stick on the table. I shook my head and thought, what a whiny brat; it was as if she was 10 years old again and her feelings were just hurt near the monkey-bars. If that was the case, she should wait until 15-20 years of voting; she has plenty of time to be frustrated or gain a sense of realism. I mean, what the hell was going on, I just came here to relax and play pool.

I guess, Rodney Kings' infamous quote, "Can't We All Just Get Along", was only meant for people of "their" own kind. Though I could not help but laugh, I was pissed. Sure I did not want to become the villain by verbally attacking this women in public, but I felt of sense of personal responsibility. Not that I thought I had all the answers, but because I thought it was ludicrous that her "love, peace, and happiness" ideology really did not include "all people". But most importantly, that she was refusing to continue playing pool with me because of whom I was voting for (What the.....). So, with every bit of self-containment I could muster, I quipped, "Are you serious? We are in a bar, playing pool!" For the past 2 hours we have been getting along, having a great time! Now, all of sudden you stop because I am not voting for "your" guy? That is pathetic! I am glad that the spirit of "unity" and "change" is alive and well, and that all your wisdom and experience, in "24-ish" years, has given you complete insight into the third-dimension of "worldly" understanding! So, you can keep your "spoon-fed" beliefs that Capitalism is the root of all evil, Republicans only care about profiteering, and America is an oppressive nation; I just want to finish my drinks, enjoy my time, and finish my "Damn" game of pool! Is that too much to ask for? But, if you'd like, I will pay for a series of round trip "First-Class" tickets to countries like Venezuela, Iran, and South Africa, and when you return we can discuss your new found opinions of fairness, over another round of pool! She looked speechless, and without uttering another word she "huffed" and left the table. Of course she had nothing left to discuss; the entire situation was completely ridiculous. What she did prove is that maybe we all "just can't get along"; at least in her philosophical corner of the universe (or in this case, the bar). So, yes, I wanted to lash out on her misguided idealistic view of the universe. Yes, I wanted to tell her that political parties only deter government from working for the people. Yes, I wanted to ask her to give me three distinct reasons for her vote, other than "Change", "Hope", and "Something New". Yes, I wanted her to define 3 current legislative policies that she disagreed with and how "her" choice of President was going to change that! Yes, I wanted to ask; has she actually researched anything by herself, rather than just embracing what she was told? Yes, I wanted to ask her if she recently spent some time dealing with the Dept Of Labor, DMV, Or the United States Post Office; so she could see how increasing government run services would be "paradise" (sarcasm). Yes, I wanted to know if she had actually been involved in community action; like cooking and delivering meals for AIDs patients, grief counseling, or tutoring underprivileged, recently paroled moms - like I; or did she just send in her $5 a year for the "I Saved A Whale" foundation (To receive a fancy pin). And yes, I wanted to say that I was voting for a proven leader; a man with experience, who served his country, and clearly a man of principles and love of this country; versus an unknown quantity, with zero experience, and a questionable history. But then I thought, wait a minute, who cares, that was not the point. I wasn't trying to win an argument; I was just trying to hang out and play some pool.

Now, I did not personally survey the bar and determine my visitation status based on the percentage of patrons that were as like-minded as me: once again people, just playing pool. But, given the diversity of opinions from my network of friends; ranging from politics, religion, and race, I can be a witness that it is quite okay to have your own opinions and still get along. And imagine 100 of "yourself" in the same room, kind of maddening; would you not agree? In fact, listening to diverse opinions is how you learn, grow, and relate with other people. It does not mean you will agree on everything, but at least you will better identify and understand why people think the way they do, rather than assume (or choose not to accept). Not all Republicans are Nazi Fascists and not all Democrats are Communists. Not all Republicans support the far-right agenda and not all Democrats support far-left extremism. But according to "Miss 24 Year Old Know-It-All", she made up her mind, and not even the truth would have stood in the way of that. Now, she will be a distant memory, but that leads me to a larger question; how many more are out there (A lot)? Would it be just too much to ask people not to judge others based on assumptions or distorted bias? If you preach unity, would it be safe to say, you should practice it as well? Or maybe, once again, we really all "just can't get along". I don't know, but suffice it to say, there are times when I just don't care: and one of those times is when I just want to play pool. Stack your quarters, grab a drink, and chalk up - I'm breakin'.