Happy Holidays & Thanks For The Pennies

Ah.....Christmas in Gotham, The Big Apple, Good 'Ole NYC. Absent the recent "Global Warming" trends, that put NY winters in about the same state as South Carolina, this is my favorite time of the year. The snow is starting to fall, there is a steady cool winter breeze, and Christmas music is surrounding me in pure symphony. And then reality sets in; as the stench of dog feces, carriage horse dung, and obnoxious tourists (we need your money, so thanks), interrupt my state of Holiday bliss. I could go into a diatribe about; how easy it is clean up after your dog, that horse carriages should be banned for cruel and unusual punishment (besides blocking traffic), and as a reminder for all tourists, in America (and NY) we walk on the right side of the sidewalk! But I will have to say, that this year there seemed to be less aggravation, more respect on the streets, and a kinder attitude among the common folk. Then again, maybe it was not the Holiday spirit, but a glazed look of numbness due to the economic beating we have sustained for the past year. Either way, it felt nice for a change. Even the typical anti-God banter was not in full speed about "Political Correctness" and hanging Christmas ornaments this year. Oh sure there are always some, and Costco thought that "suppression" was the trendy thing to do this year, until a mass of consumer complaints and fear of reduced profits led them back to the promise land (Money always talks). And even Lowe's started running Ads with Merry Christmas banners throughout their television spots, with little or no resistance. Good to see that the "secularists" are enjoying a little Holiday cheer (PS - hanging "all" religious ornaments is expressive, not offensive).

But in all my delight, it only took one event to remind me why this city, after too many years, inevitably tries its "damnedest" to make me a cynic. As the song goes, "Move To L.A. Once, But Leave Before You Get to Soft.....Move To N.Y. Once, But Leave Before You Get To Cold". I tried for once to escape that prediction (which happens to be true), so I forged ahead to embrace the Christmas spirit, and yes even during a tumultuous year. And for most people, this is the time of year where people are willing to drop "more" change in the buckets of the homeless. Now I have friends that engage regularly in charitable giving, but would rarely give out change in the street. And honestly, I can relate to their preference to give money to an respected organization to distribute, rather than, as they state, contributing to alcoholism or drug use. Okay, sounds reasonable, but I am sure some of it goes to food, or maybe all (Didn't God asked us to give freely, not question why?). Now, I always have gotten into the habit of taking any change I receive and keeping it my pocket for donations; personally I felt there was a greater need than contributing to "Tip Jars" at self-service stores or "Leave A Penny, Take A Penny" bowls. And no, I am not saying I am a saint for stockpiling pennies, but the economy has unfortunately turned consumer donations from "dollars" to "cents" these days (Whether right or wrong). So, on my way home I always cross the street a few blocks earlier since there is a gentleman that sits next to a Starbucks everyday. Interesting enough, I still visit this gentleman, even with a previous incident that occurred earlier this Winter (Which I will explain later). As a passed by the street corner I reached into my pocket and all I had were 5 pennies (I had no other cash on me). I felt bad, but then again it was $0.05; every penny counts, right? And I could not ignore him now, since he saw me reach into my pocket, and he is a little forthcoming in his begging techniques. So I walked by briskly and dropped the pennies in his cup. All I could hear, was the distinct sound of metal hitting the bottom of cardboard (no other coins in the cup). This only meant one thing; there was no pennies mixing with quarters to distract him, just 5 brand new shiny pennies for all the world, well in this case, one guy to see.

Now this is where, in what amounted to two seconds, felt like an eternity in "comprehension" years. As I passed by without looking down, back, or even sideways, I heard three distinct words: "You're an @#$hole"! No, no, no.....not, "Thank You", "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanukkah", "Happy Holidays", "God Bless", or even a sarcastic "Oh, Great, Thanks A Lot". Even the latter I could have accepted. Nope, I received a big 'ole FAT "You're an @#$hole! Normally I would just pass by and shake my head, not because I am better than that, but because it just isn't worth it. Do you think I am going to sit there and explain to some homeless guy, the meaning of appreciation? I would rather clean up dog droppings on the sidewalk for an hour, not for the money, but rather to help out some lazy pet owner than give this guy the time. Only, this time I did not walk away. I swiftly stopped, turned around and said, "What the "Frig" did you just say to me?". He just repeated himself: "You're an @#$hole". At this point about 15 people just stopped and looked in awe; and probably not because this man was yelling obscenities at me, but because I actually stopped and confronted this guy. I knew I should just walk away, so I turned around and did just that; walked away. He could not explain his reasoning, because now with witnesses he would sound even more ungrateful, but that did not stop him from going further. As I started to walk away, I heard him grumbling a little more, and then, to all of our surprise, he threw the cup of pennies at me! Yes, he threw the pennies AT me! None of the pennies actually came in bodily contact, but all I could hear was the clinking sound of pennies hitting the sidewalk. So now, along with "verbal abuse", we can add "physical assault" to the record. Was this guy serious!!!!!

It took every once of self control that I could muster, not to turn around and face down this guy. Not because he was as big as me and would have put up a good fight, but because the last thing I needed was to put this guy in "jail" so he can suck off my tax money for free room and board. That would just add insult to injury. I was fuming inside, and all I kept thinking was; how could he? What an ungrateful SOB to even say such a thing; right? I kindly gave and was treated like I was the villain. I wanted to call the police and get him kicked off my block. I was so pissed, that when I got home I kept replaying the incident over and over in my mind. I thought to myself, is this guy for real: lazy bastard, get off your @#$ and get a "Friggin" job. You are smart enough to know 5 pennies is not 5 dollars, and you strategically sit next to a Starbucks where the odds of extra "change" increase exponentially: should have been a Finance major. Since when is change not currency? As far as I know pennies are still legal tender, which, with accumulation, you can actually buy products and services. What ever happened to beggars can't be choosers? Are you really homeless? So, I owe you my money, just for the sake of feeling bad? And then I thought, WAIT A MINUTE, my $0.05 is not nothing: given the traffic rate of 30 people per minute passing by, at a rate of 10% of people giving, in a 60 minute period, as $0.05 per donation (estimates): is $9.00 AN HOUR! A far cry above minimum wage and no taxes. AARRUUGGHH.....am I wrong here!!!!!

So after I calmed down, and all of the things I was glad I did not say, drifted out of my head, I realized that I had to practice, what I preached; right? And that was to give freely, and not question. Well, I really was not trying to question, I was just plain pissed. Of course, after revealing my enlightening experience to a few friends, which happens more than you think; I was lectured on the, "Yeah, doesn't God also tell you to wipe the dust off your feet and walk away when continually wronged (Meaning: do not be a sucker)". I had to step back and agree; and given the previous incident I experienced with this gentleman, that may have explained my increased state of anger. A few months before this, while leaving a restaurant after dinner; I was carrying some left overs as I passed this same man on the street. I did not notice him before, so I stopped to give him some change (that time it was not 5 pennies, but not the point). During our exchange he asked if he could have the food in my bag. Apparently, we was well trained in distinguishing between normal "shopping bags", versus bags containing "left-overs". I politely said no (It was left over spicy calamari), but gave him some change, and moved on. He mumbled some expletives, but I did not hear him. I felt bad when I returned home; so I packed some food from both my fridge and cabinets. I then returned to this guy, apologized, and offered my make-shift food sampler. He said, "Thank you"; and I then returned home. This is what made it so odd; why the drastic change in behavior? I could not help but think; how could a man be so grateful then, yet act like a SOB now! How could he forgot I was the guy that previously returned and gave him an entire bag of food: this guy sees me everyday?

Regardless if I was in a state of anger or incomprehension, I have always been instilled with the importance of giving. And within my spiritual upbringing and I was always taught that it is our job to "Be Our Brother's Keeper". Regardless of the circumstances, always lend a hand. And with my faith, also came the belief in "Angels Unaware"; that there is a looming presence of God hidden in the face of man to test our actions from time to time. Whether or not you believe it or not, is irrelevant. But that always makes me think; am I giving because I have to or because I want to? Or maybe, just maybe, this was an "Angel" that was calling me an @#$hole for only giving 5 pennies (Would God do that)? Was I wrong for only giving 5 pennies, or did I deserve at least some thanks? I guess we have to decide for ourselves; whether to "justly" turn our backs in frustration, or continue to do what we know is best (if there is a discernible difference)? So, yes I can embrace the logic of "wiping the dust off my feat", in the event of being called an @#$hole, or in the face of ungratefulness, but I have to remember why I give. Because it is my duty, my calling, and a gesture of extending love to another man. Besides the fact; do I really know what "I would do" in that situation? Sure, you would rather give to the guy who does not call you an @#$hole, or cross the street for someone who would appreciate even a gift of only 5 pennies; wouldn't you? I mean, for every guy like this, there are 100 others that are so thankful for even the smallest gesture. So why should I give to him? Because, even though his attitude is less than deserving, he "deserves" the same as everyone else: unconditional love (even with kicking and screaming). So, I will leave it up to you to decide if I will cross the street to ignore this guy in the future; hell no, I can't wait to give him 5 more pennies (sarcasm). In the meantime, I am thankful for so many others that appreciated anything I gave, and DIDN'T think I was an @#$hole. Yes, there really are some gracious people in this city.